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Last thoughts posted Oct-28-2008 You know the stand I took; you've heard my arguments; you've seen the results. Chances are, you've partied with me and found yourself saying, "He acts like he's drunk, but I know he isn't." Chances are, you've wanted to get wasted with me and found yourself asking, "How can he be not drunk when I already am?" Chances are, you didn't want to believe my claims, and yet found yourself saying, "Yes, it's no surprise if his family does down alcohol like it was water." I am not alcoholic. I never was, and I more likely never will be. And like I said in one of my past posts: "Let me stress that although I can function well whether I'm intoxicated or not, I am not addicted to alcohol; I can stop anytime I want to." As big and sudden a decision this is to make, let me now say: "From the day I start wearing my very own Red Ribbon, I shall not down even one shot of alcohol." ... Part 1: I've read about the Red Ribbon Week celebrated recently in Carson City, an event featured in our newspaper. It basically says that you can have fun even without drugs, smoking and alcohol. I don't do drugs and I don't smoke, but I do drink alcohol. I have fun whether I'm drinking or not, albeit just a bit more when I'm inebriated. Last Thursday, I beered-up. But as usual, everyone can say that it's like I wasn't drinking at all. Part 2: Last Friday, I got out of a quasi-relationship. But not as usual, it mattered to me. It mattered not because I finally fell, or that I saw the error of my ways. Don't expect any romance or a failure of such in any way in this post. It mattered because I saw my life and how cyclic it was. Not because there is routine in everyday, but because the changes in my life come at regular intervals. Part 3: And I realized I was Sisyphus. This cycle is absurd! Yet I am not happy in the struggle, because I am not revolting against it. From that moment, I wanted to change something; to revolt against the absurdity of life. ... In comes the Red Ribbon, which marks my revolution against the absurdity of an ever-changing, yet cyclic lfe. A ribbon that marks my bondage to a commitment of being free from alcohol.  Red Ribbon Absurd, isn't it? And yet, maybe, just maybe, I can be happy in the absurdity. But for how long...no one can really say. For to put a deadline into the absurd ruins its absurdity, and defeats the purpose of "No Alcohol." |
